This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Olay. The opinions and text are all mine.
Comments submitted may be displayed on other websites owned by the sponsoring brand.
One of my goals for 2018 was to get a bit more personal with you all. Rather than always sharing our favorite trends or travel guides, I really wanted to open a bit and share some of our life experiences, so you can get to know us better.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I’d be at my age today, I would have said I’d be married with children and living around the corner from my parents – as grandparents. I would have never thought I’d be running my own business with my sisters, but mainly I would’ve never dreamed my dad would’ve passed away 8 years ago and my life would be completely flipped upside down.
For those of you who are new here, I want to share a little backstory. On April 15, 2010, we learned our dad was diagnosed with melanoma. On Memorial Day weekend 2010, he checked into the hospital. On June 13th, 2010, he passed away. To summarize, in less than two months, our world came crashing down. The following days, and even months, felt like a blur. Trying to understand how this could have happened to someone who seemed so healthy, active, and young was unfathomable, and for the following years we did our best to keep going and to live a life he’d be proud of. He was 52-years-old at the time. I was 20.
For today’s post, I don’t want to focus on grief, but rather I want to share how this experience changed my outlook on life, how I learned to face fears about my future, and how I overcame challenges to find strength and success.
Olay is a brand celebrating all women who break boundaries to rise above and live fearlessly. Today I’ve teamed up with Olay to share how we found strength after losing our father. We are faced with so many challenges in life, so today I wanted to share what we learned about strength and success after a life-changing event to help empower and motivate other women to take risks, follow their dreams, and understand they can take on any challenge.
The one thing I’ve learned over the past 8 years is life is full of challenges. There are so many ups and so many downs, and so many times where I question WHY is this happening. We’ll never know where we’ll be in the future or how tomorrow will unfold, so I’ve learned the importance of living my best life each day at a time. I’ve also learned over the years we can’t move forward in life if we’re only holding on to the past, so rather than focusing on what could have been different, it’s important to learn from those experiences and channel your energy into becoming a stronger person.
When our dad passed away, Blair was graduating from SMU, I was about to be a senior, and Janie was about to start her freshman year. We were all at a transitional period in our lives, and entering adulthood without our dad was incredibly hard and scary. Our dad always had positive/rational advice for every problem. He helped guide us through school and figure out our career paths. He worked and handled all of the finances, so our mom could devote all of her attention to raising us as a stay-at-home mom. As great as it was that he handled everything, we had no idea where to begin after he passed.
Rather than falling apart or giving up, my sisters, my mom, and I became a team.
Since our mom did not know how to live life without our dad, she made it her goal to teach us what she was learning, so we could always be independent. From taxes and finances to managing real estate or even small things like spackling a wall or changing our car’s oil, she wanted us to learn that we were totally competent and able in any situation. We learned everything as she learned, and we grew even closer through this. We learned to push each other, to support each other, and to have patience with each other. Mainly we realized with the help of a support system, we could handle any challenge that came our way.
Experiencing the death of our father at such a young age opened our eyes to reality. It made us appreciate every day and to spend time surrounding ourselves with those who make our lives more meaningful. We learned life is short and we should never hesitate on something that’s important to us – whether it’s going after our dream job, speaking out about something we believe in, or taking that bucket list trip across the world. We learned to be brave.
I think it’s incredibly important to take a look at your life and evaluate your goals, priorities, and morals. It’s easy to go through life without really taking initiative about what you want in your future and how you’re going to achieve it – but learning to live your life as a fearless female will open your eyes to a whole new world.
Losing my dad was by far the most devastating, life-changing event I’ve ever experienced – but I know he would be happy knowing how strong the four of us have become. My mom, my sisters, and I have faced some of the hardest challenges, but together we become a female team and learned we can accomplish anything we put our minds to. Regardless of what chapter of life you’re in or what challenges you may be facing, today I want to share 12 tips to help you become a fearless female:
Learn To Be Independent
I think as a female, learning to be independent is the most valuable skill we can have. Whether it’s recognizing how to handle an everyday task OR learning how to look out for ourselves, it’s incredibly important to learn how to be in control of our own lives.
Never Be Afraid To Take A Risk
One thing I discovered about myself after losing my dad was that I started to take more risks. Having a blunt realization that life can dramatically change at any point, I learned to look at life in a new way. Don’t be afraid to ask for a promotion at work if you deserve it, travel the world solo if you want to explore, or even tell your crush how you really feel. Be fearless to achieve what you want.
Follow Your Dreams And Pursue A Career That Makes You Happy
With hard work and determination, you can achieve anything you put your mind to. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You may fail a couple times, but don’t let it get you down. Learn and grow from it. If you’re doing what you love, don’t stop when it gets hard, but push through to be the best you can be.
Enjoy Every Moment
Life is short and your entire world can change tomorrow, so learn to enjoy every moment and take advantage of any opportunity that comes your way. Learn to cherish every aspect of your life.
Live A Life Your Parents Would Be Proud Of
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned my parents were ALWAYS right. They know you better than anyone else, and they want to help you live your best life. Learn to ask for guidance and listen to their advice.
Surround Yourself With Positive People And Build A Support System
Life is too short to spend your time with negative people, so surround yourself with positive people who add value to your life. Though it’s important to be independent, it’s also important to have a support system of friends or family to help you. One really interesting thing about losing a parent is you really discover who your friends are, and sometimes the ones that are really there for you are friends you didn’t expect. Learn to invest your time in deeper relationships to build each other up and support each other through good times and bad.
Don’t Burn Bridges
The world is extremely small, and you never know how someone from your past will fit into your future. Learn to distance yourself from people that cause negativity in your life, but never say or do anything that would hurt someone else. Burning bridges could come back to hurt you in the future.
Make Skincare A Priority
While skincare typically doesn’t fall into a list of how to be a fearless female, it is extremely important for each of us in our lifestyle – and it’s important for you to share this same value. Use quality skincare products, visit your dermatologist annually (at least!), and drink lots of water. We’ve learned not to take our health for granted.
Know That You Can Handle Any Challenge That Comes Your Way
Eight years ago our world came crashing down, and we had no idea how we would be able to get through it. It was an incredibly hard time for us. However, the four of us stood together as a team and knew we HAD to keep going. We have learned so much over the years, and even through the toughest times, we learned we can do anything we put our minds to. Life is full of challenges, but remember you can handle any challenge that comes your way. Whether it’s in your personal life or professional life, you will find the strength to accomplish anything you put your mind to.
Do More Than What’s Expected
Our dad always said “the best way to be successful in life is to find out what is expected of you and do just a little bit more”. Whether you’re trying to nail a work presentation, land your dream job, or plan the perfect event, doing a little bit more than what’s expected and consistently exceeding expectations will make a huge impact.
Be Kind
Whatever challenge or problem faces you, remember to be kind. Grief is a bizarre emotional state with a wide range of emotions – some days you would’ve never been able to tell how hard of a time we were having. Everyone has problems, regardless of how big or small, so be considerate of those around you – as you never know what that person may be going through. Learn to build each other up to create a supportive environment. As our dad always said, “There’s enough pain in the world without you adding to it.” Be kind.
Learn To Be Happy
It’s easy to look at your life and wish things could be different. Some of your friends may be more successful than you, have a higher salary, have the perfect marriage with children, travel the world, have a nicer car, etc. After losing a parent, we learned to cherish every aspect of OUR lives and not to compare ourselves to others. As we mentioned above, everyone has problems and you never know what type of battle that person may be fighting – be happy for their successes. If you learn to appreciate everything YOU have and be happy with your own life, you’ll have more time and energy to focus on accomplishing YOUR goals, your dreams, and your future.
Regardless of where you are in life right now, you are constantly faced with challenges. How you choose to react to these challenges is what makes the difference. This experience was by far the hardest and most life-changing event of our lives, but channeling our energy into become a supportive team and never giving up made us into stronger, fearless females. Learn to grow from life’s challenges and face your fears, and you can find strength to accomplish anything.
Want to learn more about fearless females? Just as I overcame my challenges, I am proud to stand with other fearless females to share their stories with you! Click here to watch Tristan’s Mazzu’s story as a female pilot!